So you know by now it's Down syndrome awareness month. Most of my family and friends who read this blog know enough about Down syndrome by now... or we are lucky enough to be in this "club" together. I feel so blessed to be a part of such a beautiful family... and by that... I mean each and every family that I belong to. My family, my husbands family, my church family, my Down syndrome family.... oh how I would be so lost with out each one. (I'll warn you now... this post might not go anywhere.... my mind is racing today)
Today I am feeling all sorts of emotions...
I smile because I am happy - happy Justin chose to be a part of our family - happy simply because Justin is happy - happy because my family and friends adore him so much...
I laugh because I am proud - proud of each and every milestone - proud to be his Mom - proud of the family we've created...
I cry because I feel alone, scared, nervous, frustrated - I cry because I don't know what he wants or needs, so therefore I feel like I am failing him...
I find myself in a daze because I am thinking about our future - or I am simply trying to pick myself up from having "one of those days"...
So what this boils down to is...
We are MORE alike than different. You may or may not have a child with special needs, but we go through a lot of the same emotions. Being a part of a family is comforting. Most of the time that is what gets us through the day... each and every day.
I need people in my life that will smile, laugh with me (or at me for that matter... as long as I am in on the joke), cry with me... hey, you can even daze with me! (Dazing is best with a cold Diet Coke in hand!)
We're coming up on the 2 year mark of finding out Justin has Down syndrome. Oh boy was it scary. I cried... ask my Mom... I cried HARD. (even though I knew with all of my heart before the test that he had Down syndrome... it was difficult to hear.) I held Tyler, he held me. I tried to act strong, but I felt very weak. We both had to be strong for each other, for the girls. I couldn't sleep. I didn't know how or when to tell my girls. Would they be angry or embarrassed, or would they love him the same way the had been for the last 6 months? I was up all night doing research. My mind was racing...
I'll never forget the way I felt the next morning. What a sweet blessing we were given. It was a blessing I never thought I wanted... but a blessing Heavenly Father knew we needed.
I want to thank each one of you for being in my life. We ARE family... and I love you.
... and dear, sweet Justin... you are everything we always needed!
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(picture was taken the day after we found out our sweet boy had extra special genes!)
I laugh because I am proud - proud of each and every milestone - proud to be his Mom - proud of the family we've created...
I cry because I feel alone, scared, nervous, frustrated - I cry because I don't know what he wants or needs, so therefore I feel like I am failing him...
I find myself in a daze because I am thinking about our future - or I am simply trying to pick myself up from having "one of those days"...
So what this boils down to is...
We are MORE alike than different. You may or may not have a child with special needs, but we go through a lot of the same emotions. Being a part of a family is comforting. Most of the time that is what gets us through the day... each and every day.
I need people in my life that will smile, laugh with me (or at me for that matter... as long as I am in on the joke), cry with me... hey, you can even daze with me! (Dazing is best with a cold Diet Coke in hand!)
We're coming up on the 2 year mark of finding out Justin has Down syndrome. Oh boy was it scary. I cried... ask my Mom... I cried HARD. (even though I knew with all of my heart before the test that he had Down syndrome... it was difficult to hear.) I held Tyler, he held me. I tried to act strong, but I felt very weak. We both had to be strong for each other, for the girls. I couldn't sleep. I didn't know how or when to tell my girls. Would they be angry or embarrassed, or would they love him the same way the had been for the last 6 months? I was up all night doing research. My mind was racing...
I'll never forget the way I felt the next morning. What a sweet blessing we were given. It was a blessing I never thought I wanted... but a blessing Heavenly Father knew we needed.
I want to thank each one of you for being in my life. We ARE family... and I love you.
... and dear, sweet Justin... you are everything we always needed!
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(picture was taken the day after we found out our sweet boy had extra special genes!)
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